Shadows of Darkness

I'm quite amazed by how fast I can cool down after being angry. However, I know one thing for sure; the event today is one of the parts of many stepping stones that will eventually lead to murderers who kill without remorse, people who will do anything to achieve their aims, or even terrorists. For I am one person who know, to do anything we must have power. In this world, no power no talk. One fact I believe, and I will probably stand by it to the end.

I didn't get into the CCA picture taken this year, due to some problems between 2 groups of photographers. No matter, it doesn't really matter to me now. What boiled down to a water fight between me and Eugene Teo, who better watch out, was when I got back to class after the photo taking session I somehow felt that they were going to spray water at me. For one, I hate it. Not being wet, but rather being sprayed full of water. I don't mind being wet, but either way I just escaped outside of the classroom. Following which, Ernest tried to drag me back to classroom. I was no match(isn't this a show of how lacking in power I am?) and in the end I got sprayed at the door by Eugene Teo, aka the Fucking alien of the class(I'm not in a very good mood, so screw it) because I attempted to hide behind the front door and stop myself from being dragged in. Following which I saw a black bottle appear by the front door(Eugene's hand held the bottle and squeezed it, even though he was outside of sight). Then went a streak of water on my shirt, instantly screwing my mood. I then walked in and shouted a lot of vulgar, as I truly was in no mood to peacefully talk it out. Then I called Eugene over and we basically 'finished' off the water fight, ending up both of us being extremely wet, following which Eugene dropped the water bottle. I wasn't happy for sure, and I took the bottle cap and dumped it inside the nearby dustbin(originally planning to dump the whole bottle to the ground floor) after knowing it was an innocent bystander's water bottle. So I left the bottle on top of the dustbin and walked off, going to a toilet to dry off a little.

I was already wasn't in such a good mood when the boys in my class, including some of the girls, planned to carry me and make me some sort of a god damn mascot of the class, calling me 'Hardo Gay' and all the unkind titles that I apparently wasn't taking very kindly. They said if I cooperated they would stop calling me 'Gay' which I would've been a true idiot to listen to them for their plan on the candid shot.Freaking mascot?No way was I ever one, and screw Ernest for coming up with this plan. No doubt now, I hate this class.

After this event, I realized a few more things: I am a Pessimist, looking from more negative views often. I can tolerate them making fun of me, but spraying water at me? To me, that was going overboard. They made me snap, and I don't really snap so easily. Maybe to many people, "It's just spraying water, no big. Why u make a fuss out of something so simple? It's just for fun mah." However, I don't like it, and it's apparent they're just bullying me around. Why? Cos I'm small, weak, easy to bully and lack power. How simple, the world revolves round one logic: without power, you can do nothing. Think about it, isn't it the same for those poor victims of the recent strain of natural disasters? Don't they wish they had the power to save their friends and families? Even for well-off countries, the people all experience similarities.

Now I realized that during the struggle with Ernest I got scratched, but it's not that great a wound so nvm. I know I am better off than some people, but also worse off than others. I tend to view the more pessimistic side of things, and I am weak and without power. My personality, perhaps if driven far enough, can turn to that of a cold-blooded murderer.

My father has often said, u always think u're right, u nid to stop thinking this way, which is good advice. This I know very well, but I still stick to my views. As it is, I am arrogant, have attitude problems, don't listen to good advice(like many do). I know myself quite well, but I believe in one truth now: In this world, to accomplish anything and to get respect, respect others and attain power. Without power, people will only look down on you, and everything you do will not be supported or acknowledged.

At least, I've cooled off now. But I still hate my class. The only friends I have are in the cyber world, and they can hardly be called as true friends, maybe also because of my antisocial personality. I might one day be driven to the point of no return, but for now, I'll tolerate, because even going to the extreme of committing murder will only lead to tragedy and sadness that should not be...Still, I hope people can stop disturbing me, I cant even be alone even if I wanted to! But I still seem to be able to cool off no matter what when I travel from school to home, and close to lose all anger when I reach home. Strange...but I know I'm not in the mood for poems, so I'll end off here.

Frost