Precious Dawn mei.

One post dedicated to her, in a sense. Mostly, about her. She's a precious god-family of mine, but I don't know how to show love, care and concern. I am not a tactful person, nor a caring one at that. Reading through her blog, has made me understand a bit more. I have been quite...stupid about her. It's understandable of what she thinks of me previously. Even if it's me, I probably won't forgive myself, if I were in her shoes. Truly, I never understood her, or did I ever understand anyone. I keep giving excuses, saying it's impossible to understand anyone completely, even myself. They were probably all just lies. Just something I made up simply for the comfort of my mind. At the expense of others. I never did put myself in her shoes, nor did I try to understand what was happening completely, and maybe, I never would. Actually...I kinda feel like killing myself for what I did to her. It's like in The Way, after Rhue killed Lexus, a girl he was sort of 'attracted' to. In this analogy, it isn't really accurate, since I do not have the same kind of feelings for Dawn. But the feeling is similar. Bitter, filled with regret, filled with self-blame.

Not trying to ask for forgiveness, or to act pitiful or whatever. The point is...I think now I finally know a little better the extent of the damage I had caused and the fact that I have unknowingly, or perhaps knowingly, caused a person close to me to be hurt. Now that's a fact...Something I have done very wrong.